Anxiety leads to lying

Wednesday was Angel Baby's birthday.  While I was out running errands that day, I stopped at McDonald's and bought myself a Happy meal for lunch.  I threw the toy in Angel Baby's seat, knowing she'd find it when we left for church that evening.  Instead, Monster Man was the first to enter the van.  He gave Angel Baby the toy, insisting that he'd found it at school and had brought it home to give to her as a present.  Since I didn't want to encourage any lying, I told him that he knew that wasn't the truth and that I knew where it had come from.  Even as I explained what the toy was and where it had come from, he kept insisting that he was telling the truth.  He started crying, saying that no one ever believes him anymore and that it's almost like we don't love him anymore.  How are we supposed to believe the things that we know for certain are lies?


It took almost 10 minutes for him to finally calm down and to admit that he'd found the toy in the car.  Since he and Angel Baby had been arguing earlier, he explained that he'd given it to and come up with the story in hopes that it would make her like him again.  


It was kind of scary, though, when it first happened.  He didn't show his usual signs that he was lying.  He looked me straight in the eyes and didn't even blink, rather than looking away and getting tears in his eyes (the tears came afterward).  It was almost like he'd begun to believe his story as he was telling it.  No matter how much I tried to calm him down, he just became more and more agitated that I didn't believe his story.


When I got home that evening, I immediately got online to ask the members of the National Tourette Syndrome Association's Facebook Page if they'd had any experience with anything like this.  Many reported both lying and stealing being part of their compulsive side of their anxiety/OCD.  One said that her child would lie like that in her continued efforts to be a people-pleaser.  Again, it was related to the anxiety.  Monster Man has always been the people-pleaser type, too, so I wouldn't be surprised if his lying stemmed from similar anxiety.  


The members of the group gave me some great advice on handling it, recommending that I talk to him individually about it (rather than in front of even his siblings) so that he wouldn't get embarrassed.  The embarrassment tends to make the anxiety and the situation as a whole a lot worse.  Next time, I'll be better prepared.  

God's Special Angels

I remember talking to one of my friends many years ago, back when Monster Man was a toddler and had not yet started showing signs of having Tourette Syndrome.  My friend's son has Down Syndrome, and she was telling me how some people asked her what had happened to him - if she'd done anything wrong to have a 'child like him'.  I remember telling her that God had chosen her to raise her son because He knew she was the perfect person to take care of His special angel.  


When Monster Man started having tics, and then when he added the anxiety to the mix, she turned those words right around on me.  It's true.  God only gives the job of raising His special angels to those He knows can handle it.  There might be times that seem tougher than others, but there are so many blessings to go right along with it, and we can rest assured that God is holding us in his arms and carrying us through those tougher times.


No, the challenges of raising a child with Tourette Syndrome are not the same as the challenges of raising a child with Down Syndrome, but they are both very challenging experiences.  It is comforting to know that God is in control and that He will not give us more than we can handle.

Anxiety strikes again

As storms made their way through Georgia on Monday night, we found ourselves under a severe thunderstorm warning and a tornado watch.  Some areas around us got hit really hard by nasty storms that caused damage to cars, homes, etc.  Some areas were pummeled by golf ball sized hail.  Just knowing that there were storms nearby was enough to get Monster Man's anxiety working in overdrive.

Monster Man was in his room, drawing cartoons, when the first few flashes of lightning and rolls of thunder reached our area.  Evidently, even with the storm still in the distance, it was enough to make him look out his window 'just to check' because he heard a noise.  That was when he became certain that he had seen a funnel cloud swirling around in the sky across the street.  The poor boy came running down the stairs to warn me, afraid that we needed to find shelter.  I opened the front door to look outside, hoping to calm him down by showing him that there was no funnel cloud.  He was so worried about me opening the door that I had to reassure him that it was safe before he'd even let me unlock the deadbolt to open the door.

Of course, the storm was in the distance as I'd mentioned before.  We had no hail.  The wind had only picked up a very little bit, to the point that you had to really look to notice the difference.  The storm never got any closer to our house than that, either.  It was probably a few miles from us at it's closest point.  Still, just knowing that the storm was out there somewhere was enough to have Monster Man in panic mode.  Even after the storms died down, it was another hour before he was finally calm enough to be able to get ready for bed.

It must be hard on Monster Man, having to fight off so many fears like that.  He told me that he thinks his anxiety has him seeing and hearing things that aren't really there.  I love that he has a very active imagination the rest of the time, but I feel so bad for him knowing that the active imagination gets in the way of his happiness at times like this.

Monster Man is "weird"

I was driving down the road the other day, when my five-year-old suddenly informed me that Monster Man is "weird".  He then went on to tell me that Monster Man does "strange things" and proceeded to explain about many of Monster Man's tics and how Monster Man tends to move his eyes in certain ways when he is talking.  I realized then that I'd never really explained to my Little Man about why Monster Man does certain things or about what Tourette Syndrome is.

I tried my best to tell him that Monster Man can't help that he does those things, and that he isn't trying to be strange but that he does them because he has Tourette Syndrome.  Of course, being an inquisitive five-year-old, he had questions like "what is Tourette Syndrome?" and "why does he have Tourette Syndrome?".  That was when I came to realize that I didn't really know how to explain Tourette Syndrome in a way that a five-year-old could understand.  I tried my best, but I don't think that Little Man actually got what I was saying.

Little Man seems to have dropped the subject for now, though I'm sure it won't be long before it comes up again.  Thankfully, I had some suggestions from the other members of the National Tourette Syndrome Association Facebook page that I have written down for the next time we have this discussion.  One of my favorites involves explaining about the workers in your brain, and that those with TS have extra workers that get tired of waiting their turn to work and they make the body do things the brain doesn't want it to do.  I've also found that there are several books available that can help explain it to children.

The next time the questions come up, I now know how to answer them.

Return of the "woo-oo"

We have come to the point where we don't even notice most of Monster Man's tics anymore.  There is one tic that really sticks out, though.  It had gone away for a while, but it returned earlier this week.  It's his loudest tic, the one that is most noticeable to others.  Sometimes, the tic almost seems like a normal reaction, as it usually happens when he is watching a movie or playing video games and gets excited, but there are other times when he is excited that this tic shows up.

With this particular tic, we've noticed (as I already stated) that it seems to happen when he is excited.  He lets out a loud "Woo-oo".  Doesn't seem like much, but there are times when he is watching something particularly exciting and he keeps repeating it every couple of minutes.  It's fine at home or at hockey games, but wouldn't be fine at a movie theater or another public performance where it would become a distraction to those around us.  It's sad to think that we have to limit him from certain activities like that just so that his tics don't become bothersome since he hasn't learned to control them very well yet.

For now, he's more comfortable in situations where he can be excited and not have to worry.  I guess it will be that way for a while, until this tics disappears again or until he finds a way to control it.

Front of the Class

I have been very interested in seeing the movie Front of the Class ever since we first started suspecting that Monster Man has Tourette Syndrome.  I have yet to be able to see it, but I have been told that it is a very heartwarming story about the true struggles faced by Brad Cohen.  Instead of letting his tics control him and hold him back, Brad Cohen decided to go the direct opposite route and become the teacher that he wished he'd had as a student struggling to control his tics.  I've been told by many both within the National Tourette Syndrome Association's Facebook page and by contacts I know outside of the TSA that this is an inspiring story and a must-see for those affected by Tourette Syndrome.

We do not have cable television, so we seem to miss the movie every time that it is shown.  We have not been lucky enough to find it available to rent, either.  I am finally going to break down and purchase a copy on DVD.  That way, we can use it to educate others about TS as well as to enjoy the movie ourselves.

A School Performance

Monster Man was in a performance at school yesterday, and it gave me a chance to realize something I had never noticed before. When he was up on stage, singing with the other students, he didn't have his usual eye blinking or throat clearing (or sniffing) tics. He was actually able to control them up on the stage, which really amazed me with how much he struggles to control them at other times.

He's always been a bit of a goof in front of a crowd. During VBS performances at other churches, Monster Man would be the one child rocking out on air guitar throughout the songs. When other kids are standing still singing, or even just swaying a little, Monster Man is the one that has to dance. Sure enough, while he wasn't tic-ing on stage last night, he was emphasizing words of the song with a swing of his arm or he was tilting his head from side to side to the music. It occurred to me last night that maybe, just maybe, these little antics are his way of controlling the tics. Most importantly, though - They kept a smile on his face!

I was so proud of Monster Man last night, watching him and knowing how hard he was working on the inside to keep his tics under control. Sometimes we take things like that for granted.