Tuesday, July 24, 2012

I don't see it...

There is one comment that seems to be heard by just about every single one of us that has a child with TS.  At some point or another, quite often within the first few months of diagnosis, it seems like we all hear the words "I don't see it".  While the words may be quite harmless, there are other times when the words can end up being more hurtful.  Often times, it seems those words come at a time when we need the support of our family and friends, and rather than getting that support, we instead hear them casting their doubt.

I think there are a number of factors that can come into play as to whether or not someone "sees it."  Those that only see the child once in a while may just be seeing him at times when tics are waning rather than waxing (at a calm time rather than a time when tics are more out of control).  Another factor can be whether or not the child is comfortable around the person that doesn't see it.  Oftentimes, the child will hold in the tics until they are more comfortable, leading to an overabundance of tics once the child is once again in his comfort zone.  There is also the possibility that those that see the child regularly aren't seeing the tics because they've come to be typical behavior for the child, leading to the tics going unnoticed.

Mothers, on the other hand, are often more tuned in to the things that affect our children.  We have a sense when something is wrong, when there is something more than just habitual behaviors going on.  We tend to have a better understanding that our children need our help to overcome the obstacles that they are facing ahead of them.  Just because you don't see it doesn't mean that we don't see it.  When we do come to that realization, when we accept that our children are different, we need the support of those around us.  We don't want to hear the doubts cast our way.  We don't want to have to explain what or why or how... We just want to know that we can turn to our friends and family for support.  Most importantly, we want to know that you accept our children for who they are, not for who you want them to be.


  1. I have heard this way too many times. And -- fortunately, Caleb has had a really good spell of no tics for a while now. I'm not sure why, but it's been a blessing. However, now is when I'm hearing it from folks. Thing is...there may be internal tics (or slight) ones that I can't even see. I know (believe in my heart) that he has some respiratory tics that no one else would really notice or pay attention to. It is a hard thing to hear, but then again...sometimes it's nice to hear it, too. Just depends on the situation, I guess. Looking forward to meeting you all on Sunday.

  2. HAHA! Monster Man has finally commented! It's MM here, saying that I bet you won't hear about me ticcing next week!!!!