Friday, December 31, 2010

It's heartbreaking

Okay, I'll admit it. It's heartbreaking to see my happy-go-lucky little boy turn into the little boy with all the anxiety he has been experiencing. Monster Man's life has changed so much over the past year. While the anxiety is the worst of it for us, there are so many other changes that make my heart ache for him.

Monster Man turned 10 this year. As he's grown older, his hormones have started to change bit by bit. Maybe because of the hormones, but maybe still because of the new struggles he is facing in learning to live with his tics, he has started having horrible mood swings. It doesn't take much to make him angry these days. Some mornings, he's already yelling before he even makes it to the school bus. I know he doesn't mean to be so angry so much of the time, and he's often quick to apologize when he realizes that his temper is getting away from him, but it still saddens me to see how angry he is.

I've noticed that he seems to withdraw from us a little more than he used to, as well. Some days we have to practically beg him to come out of his room. He chooses to stay on his bed, reading a book (at least he's doing something of value with his time), rather than spending family time with us some nights. I've also noticed that he gets a spaced off look from time to time, like he's not completely there with us even when he is sitting right by us. Some days, I cry thinking of my Monster Man slipping away from us.

I know we all have many challenges ahead of us. Our faith in God will help us through.

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