Adjustment Period

Monster Man has been going through a bit of an adjustment period.  About three weeks ago, he started taking Clonidine to help control some of his tics.  The hope is that by controlling the severity of his tics, we might be able to control some of the excess stress that builds up and leads to a rage episode, resulting in better control of his rage.  We were told that it would take over two weeks before we start seeing results.  So far, we're not sure if the results we're seeing are an improvement or not.  Some of his tics have seemed to decrease, but others seem to have increased.  He also seems a little more 'jumpy'.  His anxiety level is higher, but we're not sure if that is related to the Clonidine or not.

This past Saturday, we left for a camping trip to the mountains.  Sometimes, he seemed much better than he previously would have.  In the past, he's been very nervous going over the mountain roads, afraid he'd fall off.  He didn't seem to have those fears this time.  However, he was jumping a little more at noises he heard; was very sensitive emotionally, sure we were yelling at him if we got onto him even the slightest bit (calmly, even) for misbehaving; and he started ticcing uncontrollably one night while we were out to eat - worse than we've ever seen him tic.  He had gotten upset because he was ticcing a little and noticed someone was watching him.  The stress from being stared at caused him to start ticcing 100 times worse.  I took him outside the restaurant, where I held him in my arms while he cried until he was able to calm down enough to get back in the restaurant and take his anxiety medication (Hydroxyz HCL).  A few minutes later, he was happily drawing again.  Seeing him struggle like that was so hard on both me and my husband.

We haven't seen any further episodes like he had that night, but we're keeping an eye out to see if he has any other signs of worsening.  We're also keeping our eye out for signs of improvement.  We're really hoping that this medication will help improve Monster Man's symptoms.  He'll be heading for some therapy soon, too (I wanted to hold off until we know how the medication is helping him so that we can include that information in what we talk to the next doctor about), and we're hoping we might start seeing more signs of our happy-go-lucky little boy again.

Comorbid Conditions & Tourette Syndrome

Today is day 8 of Tourette Syndrome Awareness Month, which (as I've stated in a previous post) runs from May 15 to June 15.  I want to take the opportunity today to share a little about comorbid conditions.  I've used the term many times in the past, yet I've still received a lot of question about the term "comorbid".  It seems that what throws most people off is the word "morbid", which is most commonly thought of as "gruesome" or "unwholesomely gloomy".  Dictionary.com gives four definitions for the word "morbid", including the two more common definitions I just mentioned.  However, it can also mean "affected by, caused by, causting, or characteristic of disease" or "pertaining to diseased parts".  In the case of co-morbid conditions, it would be more the "affected by,..." definition.

Comorbid condition of Tourette Syndrome can include Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), bipolar, depression, anxiety, and rage. They can also include learning disorders, such as dyslexia and dysgraphia.  In many cases, these comorbid conditions are actually harder on the individual with TS than the actual tics are.

It is important to remember that these can appear together but do not always.  Some people may have one or two comorbids with their TS, some may have none, some may have many.  Like the difference in tics, it seems that you can have a room full of ticcers and not see a completely matching list of comorbids between two individuals.  It is also important to realize that just because a child exhibits one of the comorbids, it doesn't mean that the child has Tourette Syndrome.  A child with ADHD could just have ADHD.  A child with OCD could just have OCD.  These are all conditions that can occur on their own or along with other conditions.

Gotta wonder

Knowing that Tourette Syndrome can be hereditary, it's hard to look at Angel Baby and Little Man without wondering if they, too, might have Tourette Syndrome like Monster Man does.  What makes us wonder even more is the fact that we know that both Angel Baby and Little Man have issues that can be comorbid with Tourettes.

Angel Baby, like Monster Man, is starting to go through puberty - a time that can increase the symptoms of TS.  While she has always had sensory issues (she and I both have a lot of problems with certain textures and sounds) and some problems with anxiety, we've started to realize that some of her other behaviors are actually tics.  She has recently started chewing on the inside of her lip more often, too, and she recently sang in a school competition while chewing her lip throughout the entire song.  She has always had a tendency to have temper tantrums, as well, and never outgrew it as she got older despite our best efforts to curve this behavior.  Things we previously had related to other health issues she's experienced are now being looked at in a new light, and it's hard not to think that she could have TS like her brother.

Little Man is much younger (5 1/2 years younger than Monster Man), so we don't see a pattern of behaviors changing for him like they have with his brother and sister.  We have, however, had to accept that he has OCD.  We kind of joked around about it before, laughing at how picky he was about how the velcro on his shoes was lined up or commenting on the way that he'd sort his M&M's by color before eating them, even when he was too little to know his colors.  Grocery shopping used to be a challenge if Little Man was with me; he'd straighten all the shelves within his reach while I was picking items off other shelves.  A trashcan lid that was out of place or a bottle of ketchup not standing in the right direction in the refrigerator could lead to a major meltdown if he wasn't given the opportunity to correct the situation immediately.  He's recently started having to have his shoes just perfect - not too loose, not too tight, and the velcro or shoelaces have to be done perfectly as well.  Last week, he decided to wear sandals (with 3 velcro straps per shoe!) and he spent over 15 minutes getting his shoes to feel and look right before I finally convinced him to just get on with our day (to which he actually started crying because I wouldn't let him finish his task!).  The only complaint his teacher has about him is that he can't seem to speed up his schoolwork because he takes so long trying to get each line of each letter perfect.

OCD, anxiety, tantrums that could equate to rage... They can all be comorbids to the tics of Tourette Syndrome.  It's so hard not to wonder if we're seeing signs of things to come with our other two children.

Ups and Downs

The past several weeks have been a series of ups and downs where Monster Man is concerned.  School starts this coming Thursday.  For Monster Man, that doesn't just mean a new school year; it also means a new school.  Monster Man will be moving up to middle school this year.

At the end of last school year, he was so excited about the new opportunities that lay ahead.  He was eager to join the band, attend after school clubs, and go to his first school dance.  Most of all, he was looking forward to having a locker.  Middle school would be filled with exciting changes!

Then the anxiety hit.  Kids in middle school can be mean, as Angel Baby so nicely informed him.  Middle school comes with more responsibility, and he suddenly realized that the school work would get harder too.  Just the thought of harder work alone was enough to bring Monster Man to tears.  He began to have panic attacks at the mention of middle school and the start of a new school year.

I was in between a rock and a hard place.  On one hand, I wanted to be able to stay at home and homeschool Monster Man again.  I wanted to be able to hold him back and protect him from all the things he found so frightening.  On the other hand, I knew that sheltering him from the things that scared him wouldn't help prepare him for the future.  I also knew that my own busy school schedule wouldn't allow me to be home to homeschool him.

Just when I was about to give up my own classes to stay home with him, he decided he was excited again.  Over the past couple of weeks, Monster Man has continued to go back and forth on the issue. One day, he's excited about going to school.  The next, he's back to being scared.  His backpack is packed and ready to go now.  We meet his teachers Tuesday night.  Thursday morning, I hope to be able to get him on the bus without his anxiety building up too much.  If it comes down to it, I will drive him to school to give him more time to calm his nerves.

I am sure he will be fine.  I can't wait for Thursday to get here so I can hear how his first day of middle school goes!

The End of a Good Break

Monster Man has had such a good break from some of the worst problems he faces with Tourette Syndrome.  After about five days in a row of panic attacks, which were also days filled with many episodes of rage, as well as about two weeks of a really bad head-shaking tic, he has managed to have almost a full week with no rage, no panic attacks, and very few mild tics.

Of course, Tourette Syndrome seems to like to throw us all for a loop.  We had some storms come through last night that evidently brought back some of Monster Man's anxiety.  He didn't come downstairs to let us know that he was scared, so he instead stayed in his room where he didn't sleep well last night.  Of course, that has affected his attitude for today.  We've already seen the start of what easily could've turned into episodes of rage had we not been able to get him calmed down before they worsened.  To top it all off, the storms started while we were at church last night, with us driving home in the storm, which set off the head shaking tic and also brought back his 'painful tic'.  As Monster Man's nerves were getting hit harder, his head was shaking faster, his eyes kept looking up in opposite directions, and he'd get that really wide smile.  Between the eyes and the smile, he had quite a headache when we got home.

It is so sad to see him go through these sudden changes, when even Monster Man isn't sure what to expect with each passing moment.  Sometimes, he asks me if he is 'losing it'.  Other times, he asks me what is wrong with him and why he can't learn to control the tics, the anger, and the anxiety.  I still don't have all the answers he needs, so all I can do is hug him and reassure him that everything will be okay.

Panic Attack!

I knew anxiety pretty much goes hand-in-hand with Tourette Syndrome, but it still didn't prepare me for the major scare that Monster Man gave me Tuesday morning.  It was early in the morning.  Little Man was playing the Wii and Angel Baby was still asleep.  I was taking advantage of the quiet, lazy morning.  I sat on the couch, working on my computer, doing the first required assignments for my online classes, which were due to start the next morning (I like to get ahead as much as possible).  When Monster Man woke up, he came downstairs and curled up next to me on the couch, his head resting on my shoulder.

Within a few minutes of walking down the stairs, he started shaking uncontrollably.  He balled up almost in the fetal position, still keeping his head on my shoulder while bringing his knees to his chest.  He continued to shake like that, gasping every few minutes.  When I asked him what was wrong, he said he didn't know.  All he did know was that he didn't feel right and that he was struggling to breath.

He'd been experiencing some problems with anxiety the night before, so I figured the whole episode was anxiety related.  I had him breath deep, having him copy my examples in an effort to calm him down.  I considered calling his pediatrician, but I knew if I was advised to bring him in that he would never let me get him in the car and drive him there.  He wanted me to hold him, to reassure him that he'd be okay.  Instead of getting up to make the call, I decided to continue the breathing exercises with him, all the while running my fingers through his hair and keeping one arm wrapped around him.  After what seemed to me like forever but was probably only a matter of minutes, he fell asleep in my arms.  He stayed there, sleeping in my arms, for about 15 minutes before he woke up feeling a lot better but still exhausted.

In asking for advice, I discovered that panic attacks are not uncommon in those with Tourette Syndrome.  I also found out that his behavior during the attack was pretty typical for those who have experienced them or have children who have experienced them.  It was a huge relief to find out that this was just another normal part of the TS, and that he isn't (as he started worrying after he had it) 'going mad'.  He's had two more panic attacks start to appear since then, but he has been able to control them with breathing and prayer before they got as bad as that first attack.  If he ever has another bad one, I've received some good tips on how to handle them:  deep breathing, warm showers, massages, and distraction techniques.

Tourette Syndrome Awareness Month

May 15 through June 15 is officially designated as Tourette Syndrome Awareness Month.  This is a month made to help bring awareness to others about an obstacle so many people around the world live with on a daily basis.  They are challenged with tics, many of which can make life hard to live with.  They face a life full of challenges that are both physical and emotional.  Their brains take control of their bodies, and they have little control over the actions their bodies are taking at the hands of their overly active brains.  Each day, those with Tourette Syndrome battle with their brains, fighting to take control over the desire to blink excessively, shake their heads, repeat words, and so much more.

The most common thing I've heard as a parent of a child with Tourette Syndrome is one simple question.  "He's not going to start cussing is he?"  (BTW- the proper term for the use of obscenities and slurs is coprolalia).  It sounds innocent enough, but it really shows just how misunderstood Tourette Syndrome is.  I recently encountered someone who suggested that Tourette Syndrome had a spiritual link because "it almost always is accompanied by swearing".  It made me realize just how wrong people often are in how they view this condition.  According to the Tourette Syndrome Association website, "cursing, uttering obscenities, and ethnic slurs are manifested by fewer than 15% of people with TS."  Somehow 15% doesn't sound like "almost always" to me.  And the truth is, the majority of those I've talked to that either have TS or have family members with TS are Christians with a strong sense of faith and a very good connection to God.  Tourette Syndrome affects people of all religions, just as it affects people of all races, genders, and even income levels.  Tourette Syndrome doesn't discriminate.  It doesn't select those who are less spiritual than others.


As I've mentioned, those with Tourette Syndrome are faced with a number of challenges.  Tourette Syndrome often coexists with disorders such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), anxiety, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), insomnia, bipolar, depression, or any number of other behavioral, learning, or sleeping disorders.  As if these challenges are not enough, many people who live with Tourette Syndrome are faced with the reactions of those who do not understand the condition.  There are the countless stares, the snide remarks, and the bullies.  Sometimes, there are even those who deal with family members who, for lack of understanding or out of embarrassment, make nasty comments or even go to the point of emotional abuse rather than giving support, comfort, and love.  The home and the family should be a comfort zone for those with TS, but sadly this isn't always the case.


While there are those with Tourette Syndrome who would rather hide their condition from those around them, there are many more who long for acceptance and understanding.  Please take the time, during Tourette Syndrome Awareness Month and the rest of the year, to find out more about TS and the lives of those living with it.  Should you have any questions about Tourette Syndrome, please check out the links along the side of this blog or feel free to ask me any questions that I might be able to help you with. 

A mixture of emotions

The past couple of weeks have been pretty tough.  Monster Man is alternating between episodes of rage and episodes of extreme clingy-ness.  One minute, he's in full rage mode, yelling and throwing things over what seems to us as no big deal (like asking him to clean his room, help unload the dishwasher, or even brush his teeth).  The next minute, he's practically attached to my hip, begging for forgiveness for having been in an episode of rage previously.  No matter how many times I tell him that it's okay, that I understand he is having a hard time controlling his emotions, he still apologizes.  And then he apologizes for apologizing.  And sometimes he apologizes for apologizing for apologizing...

I'm beginning to think that he's living in a constant fear of hurting someone's feelings.  While he's having an episode, he tells us how much he hates us and how much he thinks we hate him.  He says things that he doesn't mean to say, throws things at us, even occasionally tries to hit us.  He also tries hurting himself, smacking himself in the face most of the time, but he tried to slam an aluminum pot into his foot the other day and a few days prior had tried to jump over the railing to the stairs.  It's so hard seeing him struggling like that and knowing that there is very little that I can do to make it all better with the exception of reassuring him and continuing to show him how much I love him.

The medicine that I've been giving him continues to help with the rage, though I'm trying to limit when I give it to him so that he doesn't build a resistance to it.  I try to give it to him only before softball games or other times when I know he lets himself get worked up, or at times when he's already starting to show signs that his emotions are getting out of control and we have to go somewhere.  If we're staying home, I try to just let him work through the emotions.  If we don't have to be somewhere, then we stay home when he's having a bad day.  It's hard on Angel Baby and Little Man to know that we are choosing to cancel outings that aren't needed when he's at his worst, but I can't take the risk of taking him out somewhere (especially when it is just me and the kids) and trying to keep him under control while keeping an eye on the other two as well.  We're getting through this bit-by-bit, and I'm hopeful that we'll still be able to do a lot of the fun things we do together each summer.

In the midst of all of this, my husband and I are starting to worry that Little Man might be following in his brother's footsteps.  While Little Man does not have any noticeable tics just yet, he has always had a bit of an OCD side to him (he has to have certain things placed in the perfect position or he'll do what he has to do to get it right).  He doesn't have anxiety issues, but he is most definitely starting to show signs of having some rage issues.  My husband and I see the changes in Little Man's temper and often question whether it is just a stage or if it is signs of things to come.  I guess only time will tell.

A Little Control

After a rage-filled night at the ball park on Friday night, I was beginning to get a little desperate to help Monster Man find a way to control the rage.  Since I coach his team, I have to be at the ball fields for every game.  Since my hubby is working long hours, Monster Man has to be at the fields with me.  And since softball is one of the few things he looks forward to all week, Monster Man does not sit out at the games.  There is no leaving him home when he's had a bad day, no having him 'sit one out'.  I knew I had to find a way to help him have a calmer day at the ball park on Saturday.

I think I've mentioned before that the kids' current insurance will not cover anything for Tourette Syndrome.  I cannot get him the additional testing he needs for school, the therapy he needs to help him learn to control certain behaviors, or the medications he needs to help with the anxiety.  His pediatrician had previously prescribed something very mild that is similar to a stronger form of Benadryl.  In fact, Angel Baby has the same prescription for when she has allergic reactions.  In Monster Man's case, the medicine is supposed to be used to help mellow him out when his anxiety starts up.  We had never given it to him before because I'd never seemed to have it with me in cases when he ended up needing it, and I've had to talk him through controlling his breathing to help calm him down when I couldn't easily remove him from the situation.  I wasn't really sure how well the medication worked, but I decided that if it was supposed to help calm him down when the anxiety attacked, maybe it would help with the rage.

Before heading to the fields on Saturday morning, I gave him a dose of the medicine.  Within 30 minutes, he actually seemed happier than he had in days.  He was laughing and telling jokes with his sister, rather than yelling at her every time she even looked his direction (the way he had been for over a week).  When we first got to the fields, he wanted to love on me and kept giving me hugs rather than glaring at me and yelling over every little thing that didn't go his way.  During his game, he only had two minor setbacks, nothing compared to the experiences he'd had a week earlier.  He was able to calm down much quicker and to get back under control.  In fact, he told me that he felt more in control of his emotions than he had in a long time.

This particular medicine is not going to be a daily thing for him.  It is still going to just be used on days when he needs more help controlling his rage.  It now has a home in my purse, where I can easily find it and distribute it when he's starting to have a meltdown (hopefully before he goes in full rage mode).  It isn't a long-term solution, but I know it's there if we need it.  It's comforting to know that we have finally found something to help Monster Man for now.

Another sleepless night

Nothing gets Monster Man's anxiety acting up like knowing there is the possibility of severe weather heading our way.  Yesterday, we were told to expect severe storms overnight.  Our county was amongst the many included in a tornado watch effective until 3am today.  Usually, I try to keep Monster Man from finding out about these watches, not wanting to scare him.  Last night, though, he heard me talking to my hubby as I went through the process of setting our weather alert radio (which my hubby had previously packed away when trying to help clean up our room).

The process of setting the radio only took a few short minutes, and we didn't even think Monster Man had heard the conversation.  About five minutes after the radio was set, though, Monster Man started 'hearing' the storms (they hadn't even reached Georgia yet when he was already sure he heard the storms).  While my hubby was watching television, Monster Man was sure he heard the weather radio alerting us of a tornado.  He kept jumping out of bed, telling us that the bad weather was hear.

Oddly enough, it never even stormed at our house.  In fact, it barely even rained.  Either way, just knowing it could've happened was enough to keep Monster Man awake most of the night.

Facing his biggest fear

Monster Man's biggest fear, especially since he's started having problems with anxiety, has been heights.  Going to a hockey game, he had to be calmed down and eased to our seats when he realized we were sitting higher up than he expected.  When we stopped to see Tallulah Gorge last fall (we stopped at a gift shop after a camping trip, and the gift shop had a viewing deck), he spent 45 minutes working himself up to the point that he could go to the railing of the viewing deck and look out at the gorge, though we had told him he could stay inside the gift shop with one of us while everyone else looked at the gorge - a stop that could've taken about 10 minutes.  Just knowing that he was visiting my mom in the mountains last summer (you can't even tell you're in the mountains where she is at), he was sure he was too high up and was going to fall off the mountain.  Like I said, heights terrify him.

The fact that he's so scare of heights is what makes his latest behavior so interesting.  I've heard from so many other parents of children with TS about this desire to do dangerous things.  In 'Against Medical Advice', Cory Friedman grabbed the steering wheel and pulled it in the opposite direction she was trying to turn.  Another time, he climbed as high up in a tree as he possibly could, almost falling on multiple occasions.  In Monster Man's case, he is trying to climb up different things to jump off of them!  At church, he gets on the outer edge of the porch, about six feet off the ground, and tries to jump off.  At the ball fields, I've caught him climbing up a wall that is approximately ten feet high, getting ready to jump off of that.  We stopped at a park this past Friday, and I caught him getting ready to jump off the playground equipment, right next to the top of the slide. I've been able to stop him in all these cases, before he could manage to get hurt in the process of his jumping. I can't imagine what he's doing when I'm not looking!

In Monster Man suddenly having this desire to face his biggest fear, and to overcome it by jumping off of high places, he has given me a new fear, one I'm half-expecting to become a reality at some point in the future.  I am scared that he will end up jumping off something one day, before anyone can stop him, and that I'll be getting a phone call to take him to the ER for a broken arm or leg.  Hopefully he'll get over this desire before he manages to hurt himself.

James Patterson's Against Medical Advice

I have recently started reading "Against Medical Advice" by James Patterson and Hal Friedman.  The story centers around Hal Friedman's son, Cory, and his struggles with Tourette Syndrome.  Cory's story began at a much younger age than Monster Man's, with his tics becoming noticeable shortly before his 5th birthday.  That led the family on a long journey, filled with many medications and even more struggles.

I'm not quite 100 pages in yet (I've only been reading it for two days), but I've already noticed so many parallels between Cory Friedman's experiences and the experiences Monster Man has had thus far.  The tics coming on suddenly.  The waxing and waning of the tics (getting better, worse, better, worse, and so on).  The constant repeating of the word "sorry".  Repeating what others say (Monster Man does this on rare occasion).  The anxiety that seems to increase the severity of the tics.  Even the need to laugh off some of the problems so he's laughing with the other kids instead of them laughing at him.   I've already found myself heartbroken at times just realizing what Monster Man is really going through.

I'm really enjoying reading this book.  It has given me so much insight into what my son, and others like him, experience on a daily basis.  I was told by many on the TSA Facebook page that it is a must-read, and I have to say that I agree with them!

Changing my own focus

One of the mothers on the National Tourette Syndrome Association's Facebook page posted a link last night to a blog post she had written on Giving up vs. Letting up.  She originally wrote the article almost a year ago, but I think she shared it with us at the perfect time.

Lately, I've had a lot of concern over about Monster Man and the issues he has had alongside the Tourette Syndrome.  Most of the time, we don't notice his tics anymore.  However, we can't help but notice his anxiety, the recent problems with lying, and the fact that he's been so easily distracted the past few days.  It's hard not to notice the anger he has been quick to express on more than one occasion.  Some days, it has seemed like my little boy has been slipping away from me, and it's been easy to want to search for any possible way to bring him back to me.

I've mentioned before that Monster Man has told me that he doesn't want any medication to take away his TS.  Instead, he's told me that God gave him TS to make him special.  He likes his tics because they are part of what makes him who he is.

The article reminded me that the TS is just a part of who Monster Man is.  He is so much more first.  I just have to stay focused on the comic, the artist, the softball player, the wanna be Nascar driver, the hockey fan, the intelligent student, ...

Anxiety + Ice Hockey = Calmness?!

My mom pointed out to me something last night that I hadn't really taken notice of before.  With all of Monster Man's issues with anxiety and nervousness, she said, you would think that all of the action of ice hockey would make him one very nervous little boy.  I could see what she means - the puck is always flying from one side of the arena to the other, sometimes flying over the glass; the sport is very fast-paced, which can be hard to keep up with and can be very intense in itself; the players get into fights, oftentimes ramming other players against the glass.  It really is an exciting, very active sport.  It made her wonder how Monster Man can sit and watch the games without his anxiety getting the best of him.

It took me a moment to realize that ice hockey has the opposite effect on him.  With all the games we've gone to, he's rarely expressed concern over anything other than the time we sat higher up than he was comfortable with.  In fact, ice hockey seems to have a calming effect on him.  It's my guess that all the action gives him something to place  his focus on, something that serves as a distraction from the things that seem to bother him the most.  He does tic quite often during hockey games, and there are times when it seems like the severity of the tics seems to coincide with the intensity of the game, but his fears seem to melt away completely during game time.

He recently asked me if I could find him a little league hockey team to play on.  We're going to be busy with softball until the end of May, but I think that I might have to give in and either get him on a league or at least get him a few lessons so that we can see where it goes from there.  As much as the thought of him out there in the middle of the action worries me, I still think it might be good for him.

Anxiety leads to lying

Wednesday was Angel Baby's birthday.  While I was out running errands that day, I stopped at McDonald's and bought myself a Happy meal for lunch.  I threw the toy in Angel Baby's seat, knowing she'd find it when we left for church that evening.  Instead, Monster Man was the first to enter the van.  He gave Angel Baby the toy, insisting that he'd found it at school and had brought it home to give to her as a present.  Since I didn't want to encourage any lying, I told him that he knew that wasn't the truth and that I knew where it had come from.  Even as I explained what the toy was and where it had come from, he kept insisting that he was telling the truth.  He started crying, saying that no one ever believes him anymore and that it's almost like we don't love him anymore.  How are we supposed to believe the things that we know for certain are lies?


It took almost 10 minutes for him to finally calm down and to admit that he'd found the toy in the car.  Since he and Angel Baby had been arguing earlier, he explained that he'd given it to and come up with the story in hopes that it would make her like him again.  


It was kind of scary, though, when it first happened.  He didn't show his usual signs that he was lying.  He looked me straight in the eyes and didn't even blink, rather than looking away and getting tears in his eyes (the tears came afterward).  It was almost like he'd begun to believe his story as he was telling it.  No matter how much I tried to calm him down, he just became more and more agitated that I didn't believe his story.


When I got home that evening, I immediately got online to ask the members of the National Tourette Syndrome Association's Facebook Page if they'd had any experience with anything like this.  Many reported both lying and stealing being part of their compulsive side of their anxiety/OCD.  One said that her child would lie like that in her continued efforts to be a people-pleaser.  Again, it was related to the anxiety.  Monster Man has always been the people-pleaser type, too, so I wouldn't be surprised if his lying stemmed from similar anxiety.  


The members of the group gave me some great advice on handling it, recommending that I talk to him individually about it (rather than in front of even his siblings) so that he wouldn't get embarrassed.  The embarrassment tends to make the anxiety and the situation as a whole a lot worse.  Next time, I'll be better prepared.  

Anxiety strikes again

As storms made their way through Georgia on Monday night, we found ourselves under a severe thunderstorm warning and a tornado watch.  Some areas around us got hit really hard by nasty storms that caused damage to cars, homes, etc.  Some areas were pummeled by golf ball sized hail.  Just knowing that there were storms nearby was enough to get Monster Man's anxiety working in overdrive.

Monster Man was in his room, drawing cartoons, when the first few flashes of lightning and rolls of thunder reached our area.  Evidently, even with the storm still in the distance, it was enough to make him look out his window 'just to check' because he heard a noise.  That was when he became certain that he had seen a funnel cloud swirling around in the sky across the street.  The poor boy came running down the stairs to warn me, afraid that we needed to find shelter.  I opened the front door to look outside, hoping to calm him down by showing him that there was no funnel cloud.  He was so worried about me opening the door that I had to reassure him that it was safe before he'd even let me unlock the deadbolt to open the door.

Of course, the storm was in the distance as I'd mentioned before.  We had no hail.  The wind had only picked up a very little bit, to the point that you had to really look to notice the difference.  The storm never got any closer to our house than that, either.  It was probably a few miles from us at it's closest point.  Still, just knowing that the storm was out there somewhere was enough to have Monster Man in panic mode.  Even after the storms died down, it was another hour before he was finally calm enough to be able to get ready for bed.

It must be hard on Monster Man, having to fight off so many fears like that.  He told me that he thinks his anxiety has him seeing and hearing things that aren't really there.  I love that he has a very active imagination the rest of the time, but I feel so bad for him knowing that the active imagination gets in the way of his happiness at times like this.

His own style

I think Monster Man has a bit of a crush on a girl at school. For Valentine's Day, he decided that he wanted to wear something special. He wanted to be "a little casual, a little dressy". This is the outfit that he came up with to wear to school today. I almost wish that I could've found a little boutineer to complete the outfit!

It's days like this that make me extra proud to be his Mom. I know there are times that he struggles with his anxiety, and he's finally admitted to us that there are kids who tease him about his tics sometimes, but he still remains confident enough to be his own person, to create his own style, and to keep his smile on his face.

A little disappointed/A little relieved

Monster Man apparently didn't qualify for the medical research study we were trying to get him into. Since we went into the screening with mixed emotions, I guess that ended up being a good thing. As parents, we really wanted to get him the help that he needs, but we also didn't want to turn our son into a 'human guinea pig'. We were kind of afraid of what side effects he might experience, and that was our biggest concern with it. Monster Man himself had such mixed emotions. On one hand, he wanted to get rid of the anxiety; on the other hand, he was afraid that he'd lose the tics that help to make him who he is. Of course, the money involved in doing the research (he was going to get some to spend and the rest was going to go into savings for him) had dollar signs in his eyes, making him a little more willing to take part in the study than we were. Once he got through the initial upset of his first blood test, he pointed to the vein on his arm, saying "this is my money maker", and asked when he could go back. I told him he needed to think about it more, just like we did. The decision was made for us, instead, and we never received a call to go in for the first treatment.

Knowing now that he isn't getting called back has given us some mixed feelings, just as the initial screening did. Now, we're a little disappointed that we weren't able to get him the treatment that could possibly have helped him. We're also a little relieved to know that we won't have to turn him into a 'human guinea pig' in order to get the treatment.

Laughter is the Best Medicine

I've always heard the term "Laughter is the best medicine". For Monster Man, this is definitely the case. He always prefers to find the humor in the worst of situations, whenever possible, rather than to dwell on the negatives in a situation. He has also been known to use the humor to educate others about Tourette Syndrome.

I have talked to several people that want to keep Tourette Syndrome a serious thing. They cannot stand for the slightest joke to be cracked, for inappropriate comments to be made, etc. Monster Man, on the other hand, laughs along with the comments and then takes the opportunity to say things like "That's not how everyone with TS is" or "It's not really like that". He finds, as do I, that there are times that humor can be an important tool in educating and spreading the word about Tourette Syndrome.

Humor can be used to explain what life with TS is like, to ease his self-consciousness when his tics are at their worst in public, and to help overcome some of his anxiety issues. No, it's not appropriate to make fun of someone with Tourettes, but - as Monster Man has learned - you can take a negative situation (if you're put in that situation) and turn it into something positive.

A Good Week

The past week has been going really well for Monster Man. His anxiety level is a lot lower than it has been in previous weeks, which means that his tics have been pretty mild. Last week, he picked up a new tic that, thankfully, only lasted a few days. He was making random 'farting' sounds with his mouth whenever he was starting to get nervous. It would help ease the nerves, and it would end up making him laugh sometimes afterward, but even he was getting annoyed by it after a while because he didn't want people thinking he was being rude. I think that the lack of anxiety has been a blessing for him this week so that he could have a break from some of the tics that he gets most annoyed with.

That is the thing about Tourette Syndrome. The tics come and go like that. New ones pop up randomly. They seem to go away just as fast as they appear. Sometimes they reappear later down the road. Sometimes there are tics that we see for a short time and have yet to see reappear. Each day is new experience, and we never know what the day will hold.